Overcome the Lie- "I can handle it"

"I can handle it." 

It's a lie that I believed as I grew, concerning so many different things.
Schoolwork
Family conflicts
time management
my own spiritual battles

My mentality said that I had to use all of my good-girl willpower to accomplish my best and overcome my struggles. (I had Ephesians 2:8-9 memorized but obviously it was not clicking.)

I didn't spend time in the Word, draw on the strength of the Holy Spirit, or rely on community during times of struggle. I tried harder, failed deeper and fell into cycles of guilt. 

At 16, carrying this lie inside me, I spent the first couple days of youth camp at surface level. But despite my best efforts to tune God out, He spoke in a big way.

Somehow I ended up having to run across campus after a small group session to grab my Bible before worship started. The staff was really strict about getting everyone seated on time with Bible in hand. I literally sprinted all the way to my room. Did I mention that I have asthma? As I descended the steps back outside to rush back to the worship center, my airway began to restrict. I knew I had to get to there quickly but as I continued, it became increasingly difficult to breathe. Camp leaders stood at the entrance to the worship center and yelled at the stragglers- "You're late!" and "Run faster!"

I tried. I couldn't.

"I can't!" I cried out, choking on my breaths. 

I stopped, stunned. 
And God spoke to me, in and above the present situation, saying- "That's right. You can't do it. You've got to depend on me." 

That moment spoke to a lot more than an asthmatic reaction. I stood there until my breath steadied through streaming tears, realizing that at some point all of our strength comes to an end. In my own power, I could never overcome sin or be better or anything. 

I pulled myself together and sat through a beautiful time of worship through song and a convicting message from the Word. And then I pulled my best friend aside- something I should have done long before then. Through some confession of sin, accountability and time deep in prayer and the Word, those cycles of guilt were broken. A lie was overcome. 

The truth is that I can't handle it all. What a relief that I don't have to! 
   
The truth is that I can't accomplish anything without Him. (John 15:4-5) 
  
The truth is that "it is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all." (John 6:63)
  
The truth is that I am called to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5) That means trust him with money, time, and responsibilities.
    
The truth is nagging guilt is of the enemy. The Spirit convicts and God is faithful to forgive us if we confess our sin- and then it's over. (1 John 1:9) His kindness draws us to repentance. (Romans 2:4) Lingering guilt hurts relationships, ministries and my walk with God.

'So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”' John 8:31-32

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This post is part of the Overcome the Lie blog tour. Overcome the Lie is an organization that empowers this generation of women overcome the lie because Jesus overcame the grave. Check out their twitter, blog and shop!