Thank God for His affirmation.
It was right at the pinnacle of that struggle that one of my students made a commitment to follow Christ. When she shared her story of how God spoke to her heart, she said- "Chelsea, I saw your joy and I wanted that."
Even though I'm highly aware that none of her story was about me, that statement was God speaking straight to me, straight through the lies, assuring me that He was in control and that through my obedience, I got to be a part of that. I'm not smart enough or a good enough speaker. And you know what? That's okay. Because the Holy Spirit equips me, even when I'm unsure.
This quote from my seminary reading struck a chord with me-
"In a very real sense, not one of us is qualified but it seems that God continually chooses the most unqualified to do His work, to bear his glory. If we are qualified, we tend to think that we have done the job ourselves. If we are forced to accept our evident lack of qualification, then there's no danger that we will confuse God's work with out own or God's glory with our own."-Madeleine L'Engle
Nothing about my life, aside from Jesus, qualifies me for ministry. I have faced issues that I never thought that I would deal with: alcoholism, drug abuse, cutting, depression, suicide, teen pregnancy, separated families, rape/sexual abuse. Y'all I never dealt with any of that growing up. I live a pretty charmed life. I don't have experiential wisdom. My heart aches to the point of being sick to think of my beloved students going through trials and falling to temptation. The absolute only way that I am able to walk alongside them through that is by the power of Christ.
As I was reading for class I had some time to really reflect on how true it is that God uses the weak. I love how far He's brought me and how much each student has grown. However, I am fully aware that no matter how many classes or what kind of degree I have, I am still unqualified. Thank God that I am equipped.