More Austin Adventures

[warning- long, photo-heavy post]

Church at the Park with the youth group... 

... and Ringo! 

Mama Fu's!

love this shrimp salad

unbeatable hand cut fries and yummy shakes at P Terry's 

snuggles with this guy

 coffee at Dominican Joe's with Traci! 

she's such a doll! definitely check out her blog/twitter

Lounging on the beach at Lake Travis 

The Blue Starlite Drive In Movie, showing Free Samples

Brunch at Gourdough's 

donut topped with pulled pork, cream gravy and a fried egg

donut topped with maple glaze, fried chicken and honey butter 

unbelievably good 

 performing Hans Bronson (the first children's musical our church has ever done!)

$2 bowling at Westgate Lanes 

Girls Day with the youth girls- cooking and thrifting lessons!

half of the girls had never even touched raw chicken before... by the end of the afternoon they could tell you how to sear chicken, dice fresh garlic, make a roux, chop an onion, and make a ranch dressing base.

Hey Cupcake!

Cabo Bob's

the perfect fix for my taco addiction 

I'll miss you dearly, Austin. 

Until next time,

Chelsea

More Than the Watchmen Wait for the Morning

Hello blogosphere!

I’m Chelsea’s little sis, Lindsey, and she has so sweetly allowed me to take over her blog today so that I could tell all of you about the commitment I recently made to myself and God. 

Here’s something you should know about me: if there is one thing I hold near and dear to my heart as a daughter of the King, it’s my purity. However, if there is one thing I struggle with daily as a living breathing human, it’s my purity. I’m sure there are many sisters of mine in Christ out there, as well as brothers, that understand where I’m coming from. 

As so many girls before me, I began seeing boys in a whole new light starting somewhere in my junior high years. I hit the ground running with those pesky hormones and was on the marriage track by the age of 14. It’s true. Boys were on my mind 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If there was a poor soul unlucky enough to get my attention, they’d be stuck on my radar for ages. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, I was looking for a boy that would date me and then propose to me and then marry me and then have children with me. 

It wasn’t until my second semester of college that I finally realized that this obsession with finding a man was seriously affecting my walk with God. Every girl wants a guy to sweep her off her feet- that’s no secret. But when that’s the most prominent thing on her mind, it becomes the most important thing in her life. (Romans 8:5) I heard a preacher say once, “We make idols out of what consumes our thoughts.” When I stopped to consider what consumed my thoughts, I realized it wasn’t God, it was whatever boy happened to be in my life at the time.

And what were these thoughts? When I should have been striving to do God’s work, I was striving to get/keep a boy’s attention, instead. When I should have been content with the beauty God blessed me with, I was worried about my weight, clothes, hair, and any other thing some guy might consider unattractive. Oh and when I was rejected by yet another guy, I was consumed with sadness instead of knowing that God loved me unconditionally and wholeheartedly.

Unfortunately, it wasn't just my mind that I gave over to men. As a beautiful poet named Janette Ikz (whom I quote many times in this post) said, “A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat who was tired of the wait… who flirts with the ideology of ‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with and still be saved?’” I went through the usual roller coaster of regret and shame that slowly wound back to caring about my own satisfaction for a little while before I appropriately fell, once again, on my knees, asking God for forgiveness. These emotions ran on and off in every short-lived relationship I was able to hang on to.  

Ultimately, I realized the only person I was serving was myself. I continued treating my body like a worthless object, giving my heart over to anyone who was willing to take it, “ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me (Janette Ikz).” I could act like I cared about my faith, but as long as I was still making these poor decisions, it was obvious God was not the main focus in my life. 

And all of it- what I set my mind on, how I treated my body- affected my actions. Just consider, how was I supposed to be a witness for Christ, an example to others, if all people saw was a codependent basket case that relied on the approval of men for my own self-worth? 

I thank God so much for wiping the filth from my eyes so that I could really see what was important in this life. When I finally gave in to God’s will for me, I found a joy that no man could ever bring me. It has been, for the better part of three years, my passion to present myself as a pure offering before God, so that I can be ready for Him to use me in whatever way He sees fit.

What began as a commitment to be physically pure soon evolved in to much more. God opened my eyes to the entire meaning of purity. God calls us to have a pure heart, mind, body and spirit, all at the same time (Hebrews 10:22). This doesn't just mean abstaining from sexual impurity. Don’t get me wrong, that’s very important, but we must also live purely in every other aspect of our lives as well. 

God pressed the fruits of the spirit firmly on my heart and I knew that to be pure, I should consider everything with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (I have these words hanging above my desk in my room as a constant reminder.) I must love everyone. I must express my joy constantly. I must have peace about what I cannot control in this life. I must have patience with others, with my future, with everything. I must be kind. I must be good, inside and out. I must be faithful to Christ. I must be gentle. And I must have self control. Always.

But it’s not easy. For three years I've struggled to be all these things, but I am no saint. Even at my best, I could never perfectly live the life God has called me to. But it’s my job as a Christian, a servant of Christ, to continue to try. 



So that’s why I decided to make a Purity Covenant. I called Chelsea and told her my idea. I wanted her to officiate a ceremony, with my mom as a witness. We stood outside a depiction of Jesus’ empty tomb and I committed myself, officially, to live a pure life before God. I chose the empty tomb as a symbol of what Christ overcame. He died for me and He overcame that death so that one day He could save me. It is only fitting that I overcome my flesh so that I can live my life, which is no longer mine, but indeed His, as a pure witness to be used to further His kingdom.

And I wanted to tell anyone that would listen about this decision I made. Because I want you to know that you’re not alone in your struggle. Being a Christian is not easy- it’s demanding. We are called to be better, and sometimes that’s just hard. But we’re in it together. God has given us this family of Christian brothers and sisters to keep each other accountable and to encourage each other when we need it. 

So hopefully this finds you wherever you are in your walk with Christ and touches you in some way. Whether it be a reality check, encouragement boost, or just something that builds your faith, I hope that my commitment before God, myself, and now you, will glorify God above all else.

I will leave you with this.

I still have hopes of falling in love, but I am content with the love God has for me. And if He chooses for me to live my life without a man, I know that I will still have joy all the days of my life, because ultimately I am the bride of Christ, and He is my groom. 

I am waiting for my Lord in a white dress, veil on, flowers in hand. I will watch and wait for His return, but while I’m here, I will strive to keep my heart pure for the glory of His kingdom and one day I will present myself to Him, so that He may be pleased.

The Purity Covenant

·         I, Lindsey Francis, commit before God to strive to live a pure life, which my Father has called me to do.

“The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith.” – 1 Timothy 1:5

·         I ask God to create in me a pure heart and renew in me a steadfast spirit. –Psalm 51:10

·         I understand that to fully embody purity, I must be of pure heart, mind, body, and spirit. –Hebrews 10:22

·         I must flee from youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace. – 1 Timothy 2:22

And keep myself unstained by the world. – James 1: 27

·         I must try to consider everything with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in my actions, as well as my thoughts. –Galatians 5: 22-23

·        I accept that, as a Christian woman, I have responsibilities to men, myself, and other women, for which I promise to hold myself accountable.

To men, I promise to be modest in actions and appearance, as to prevent you from straying 

from your own purity. -1 Corinthians 8: 7-13

To women, I promise to be an example to you, young and old. I will strive to live a life pleasing   

to God, so that you may see His work in me and know how you must live your life, as well. – 1 Timothy 4:12

To myself, I promise to do all these things, not for my own gratification, but for the praise of my

Heavenly Father, so that He can use me for the glory of His kingdom and victory over evil. – Galatians 2:20

·         I promise to wait for the man God has chosen to be my husband. And that, while I wait, I will do so with the pure heart God has called me to have. 

·         I promise not to give over my heart to any man unless I am sure God has approved.

“And I will know you…

Because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,

Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,

Your faith will remind me of Abraham,

Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,

Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,

Your heart for God will remind me of David,

Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,

Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,

And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,

But your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.” (Ikz)

·         I promise not to give over my body to anyone but my husband.

o   I will not dwell on mistakes of my past, but on whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. – Philippians 4:8

·         Even before I am married, I commit to the life of the “Wife of Noble Character” in Proverbs 31. As I wait for my husband, I will strive to clothe myself in strength and honor, wisdom and loving instruction. I will not sit idly, I will laugh at the time to come, and above all, I will fear the Lord, my King.

“And you will know me, and you will find me,

Where the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.

Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,

Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.

I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.” (Ikz)

·         And when I struggle, I will not lose heart:  “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” – 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

·         I promise to keep all these things, regardless of my relationship status.

“But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth,

Only if you should see fit…

I desire Your will above mine,

So even if you call me to a life of singleness,

My heart is content with You – the One who was sent.

You are the greatest love story ever told,

The greatest story ever known

You are forever my judge and I’m forever Your witness.

And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business.

Oh, I will always be Yours!

And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning.

More than the watchmen wait for the morning…

I will wait.” (Ikz)

“For the grace of God has appeared, with salvation for

all people, instructing us to deny godlessness and worldly

lusts and to live in a sensible, righteous, and Godly way

in the present age, while we wait for the blessed hope and

the appearing of the glory of our Great God and Savior, Jesus

Christ. He gave himself for us to redeem us from all

lawlessness and to purify for himself a special people, eager to do good work.” – Titus 2: 11-14       

Girl Behind the Blog: Non-blogging Passions

I'm so excited to be linking up today with Ashley at Written on her Heart and Mackenzie at Life of a Pint Sized Mama- both amazing women! We're discussing the passions that we may not share on the blog. I hope you'll link up as well- this is a great tool for meeting other women and connecting with them. 

P.S. I may not be able to come comment on everyone's vlog this round- getting tons of assignments done for the last couple weeks of school. I can see the light at the end!

unqualified but still equipped

Stepping into a church staff position in student ministry sounded like fun. I was 21, had lots of volunteer experience, and was positive of God's calling on my life. After all, my experience growing up had been that student ministry is event-based (especially with girls... and even more so with the not-so-popular girls). There is curriculum for all the Bible studies. And obviously I would know more than my students about the Bible. It might be challenging but I was definitely up for it.

What I didn't realize is that student ministry is a whole lot more than disciple now weekends, youth camp and Bible studies. I didn't realize the magnitude of my pride and how much I did not know. I didn't realize that real ministry is hard and messy because you come face to face with all the hard, messy parts of everyone's lives. You see the struggles, sin and abuses of people that you love deeply. I didn't realize that there could be conflict with parents, with staff, with other churches (what?!) which all called for biblical resolution. I had no idea how many times I would find myself at a loss for words, praying, panicked, for wisdom. 

A year into my time as student minister I found myself questioning whether I should even be there. The enemy spoke lies that I wasn't smart enough, strong enough, a good enough speaker (which, btw, were all true) and therefore could not really adequately do my job.

Thank God for His affirmation. 
It was right at the pinnacle of that struggle that one of my students made a commitment to follow Christ. When she shared her story of how God spoke to her heart, she said- "Chelsea, I saw your joy and I wanted that."

Wow. Waterworks. 

Even though I'm highly aware that none of her story was about me, that statement was God speaking straight to me, straight through the lies, assuring me that He was in control and that through my obedience, I got to be a part of that. I'm not smart enough or a good enough speaker. And you know what? That's okay. Because the Holy Spirit equips me, even when I'm unsure. 

This quote from my seminary reading struck a chord with me-

"In a very real sense, not one of us is qualified but it seems that God continually chooses the most unqualified to do His work, to bear his glory. If we are qualified, we tend to think that we have done the job ourselves. If we are forced to accept our evident lack of qualification, then there's no danger that we will confuse God's work with out own or God's glory with our own."-Madeleine L'Engle

Nothing about my life, aside from Jesus, qualifies me for ministry. I have faced issues that I never thought that I would deal with: alcoholism, drug abuse, cutting, depression, suicide, teen pregnancy, separated families, rape/sexual abuse. Y'all I never dealt with any of that growing up. I live a pretty charmed life. I don't have experiential wisdom. My heart aches to the point of being sick to think of my beloved students going through trials and falling to temptation. The absolute only way that I am able to walk alongside them through that is by the power of Christ. 

As I was reading for class I had some time to really reflect on how true it is that God uses the weak. I love how far He's brought me and how much each student has grown. However, I am fully aware that no matter how many classes or what kind of degree I have, I am still unqualified. Thank God that I am equipped. 

cannons

What if God called you to fully follow your passion?

What if God asked you to commit to a career that may or may not pay the bills? 

One where you may have to have a separate full time job to support your "real career"?

One that presents a huge temptation to get caught in pride, idolatry, or apathy?

One that if you decided to obey and pursue, 

people might question whether you're being responsible?

What if God called you to pour out your talents, your body, your soul into music, 

to help others see Him more clearly?

I honestly believe that this is the calling on many of my students in Austin. A couple of them are already studying or plan to study music ministry in college.

Whenever this group of students plays together, something happens. It's more than the combinations of sounds from the instruments. It's more than perfect harmonies. They are truly gifted to lead others to His throne. There is a big difference between playing music and leading worship. These students are in tune with the Holy Spirit and conduct themselves that way.

They are dedicated to perfected musicality because they want to honor the Lord in everything they do. They take initiative to research songs and learn them on their own to teach the band. They put emphasis on songs with theological significance. They are open to learn new instruments for the benefit of the band... actually I'm pretty sure most of them play multiple instruments and fill in wherever there is a need!

Pursuing music or worship ministry may be glamorized 
and definitely gets parodied (deep v necks and cardigans anyone?), 
but I think that running after this calling is kind of terrifying. 
It's less about training or education and more about experience and networking. 
It's less about what you can do and more about what God does through you. 

These students, led by my boyfriend David- none of them are perfect. Each of them struggles but is growing. And most importantly want to use what God has given them to bring Him glory and help others to do the same.

They have an opportunity to do this by being included on a Spirit Fest side stage in November, bringing glory to God through music alongside artists like Jeremy Camp, Britt Nicole, Switchfoot, David Crowder, and MercyMe. It is a big family-friendly music festival, focused on worshiping God! Since only local bands will take the small stage, it will provide opportunities to meet leadership of churches, conferences, camps and other events who are seeking worship leaders. 

Here's how you can help! Go here on Facebook and vote for Cannons by David Valdez. Voting is open through October 5th- that's Friday- and you can vote once a day! The top ten bands at the end of voting will then be reviewed by official festival judges. They will select the top five, who will be invited to be part of the festival.


I know that it can be annoying when people blast your Facebook or Twitter feeds begging for votes for whatever contest it is this time. I just wanted to explain my heart on why I am pushing this so hard. These are students that I worked with for two years and care deeply about, especially in their pursuit of serving the Lord. They're led by my boyfriend, David, who has a beautiful gift and really desires to expand and multiply it.

They will continue to lead worship regardless of whether they end up at Spirit Fest. And I trust that God is in control to guide their steps either way. But I'd still appreciates your votes!

My Last Week in Austin

This past Sunday was my official last day with Oak Meadow Baptist Church in Austin. And you know what? It doesn't matter how much peace I have about moving to Ft Worth and attending seminary. Leaving this church is absolutely one of the hardest things I have ever done. 

When I thought about moving away from Austin, I really expected to be sad to leave the "Austin-y" things. No more Alamo Drafthouse. No more Town Lake and gorgeous Greenbelts and Mt Bonnell. No more Kerbey Lane Cafe, Threadgills, Trudy's, Dominican Joe's, Torchy's Tacos, Hey Cupcake, or awesome food trailer parks (I could go on and on and on about Austin's food scene.) No more murals in every alleyway, art on the sidewalk, and local/original music everywhere you go. 

I am going to miss those things.

But this past week, while I expected myself to be making the most of my last chances to experience these things, I instead spent the majority of my time at the church or at an event with my students. 

There was a huge turnout last Tuesday for my last Tuesday night youth Bible study. I had a whole lesson planned out- we were on our last week of Jared Wilson's 7 Daily Sins. I had read and reread the chapter, created an in-depth powerpoint and reviewed discussion points. But when I was cleaning out my desk I found these nifty information sheets that I had forced the students to fill out for a game at our very first event two and a half years ago. They had questions like- how many texts do you send per month and if you could choose any superpower what would you pick? Now, 2.5 years doesn't seem like toooo much time but the difference between being 15.5 years old and 18 years old is pretty drastic! So we played the game again. It was an awesome way to end with something from the very beginning.

Whenever it came time to start the Bible study I put the book away and just turned to Ephesians 3:14-19

14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, ¹⁵ the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. ¹⁶ I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.¹⁷ Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. ¹⁸ And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. ¹⁹ May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

This is my prayer for my students, that they would truly understand God's love and that they would be rooted down in it.  And basically reading that prayer is all I could get out. 

We made chicken fried steak and played floor pong on Wednesday (my last Get LOW)

We went to Blazer Tag, had ice cream sundaes and played more floor pong on Thursday night.

And Sunday night, I beat everyone at bowling with my awesome skillzzz. Seriously, I got a turkey. It was legit!

(that's Josue ducking out of the picture)

I didn't do a lot of local, Austiny, artsy or original things in my last week in Austin. I think my heart knew what it wanted- to make the very most of the time I had left with the people who mean the most to me. Those students have my heart. I have to believe that God loves them more than I can possibly understand and He will be there, providing for and protecting my group. 

Where I've Been

I've been a little MIA this week.

I spent Monday through Wednesday packing, cleaning, and moving. I helped David move out of and clean his place on Monday and then he helped me move out of and clean my place on Tuesday. Wednesday we drove a U-Haul full of everything I own to my new student housing in Ft Worth, unloaded everything with some help from my parents and my bestie, and drove back to Austin.

Thursday I drove the 15 passenger van to McAllen, Texas for the SEC South Conference! It was my last overnight event with the youth group and I have to say, it was a fantastic way to end our big summer events. 

I will share more stories and reflections on these things later but for now, here are some random observations for you from a ca-razy week.

1. Cabo Bob's Burritos > Chipotle and Freebirds. 

I LOVE Cabo Bob's. The owners are Christians and have been exceedingly generous to our church. It's not often you see the owner of a restaurant on the service line pressing tortillas but John is pretty much always right in the middle of all the hard work. He is sure to greet me every time I come in even though we had only met a couple of times before. 

Oh and THE FOOD! The tortillas are cooked right in front of you and there are tons of fresh and delicious options for your tacos, burrito or bowl. My favorite combination is flour tortillas- baja beans- brown rice- fish- mango/cucumber salsa- chipotle crema. It's so fresh, flavorful and is normally gone in about two seconds. The carnitas is reaaaalllly good too! The fountain drinks are all made with cane sugar from the Dublin plant (formally home of Dublin Dr Pepper. They have a new drink called Doppelganger that tastes just like it!).

Only in Austin, y'all. I will definitely miss it. Glad we got to enjoy some in between moving!

2. Moving is better when wearing pearls.

Even if your roommate makes fun of you for it. I felt less grungy even if I was scrubbing baseboards. (Oh and these are fake Sam Moon pearls. Don't get your real pearls dirty.) 

3. Progress in packing just feels like clutter. 

Yuck. I hate clutter. I am not looking forward to the long unpacking/organizing process I'll be going through at my new place. Oh and this photo shows you how large our awesome master bedroom was. I am definitely going to miss that giant closet!

4. I might be the oldest 23 year old I know.

... and I might have lost some hearing at this concert. I may or may not have had my fingers in my ears for a lot of it. (I may or may not have still been able to perfectly hear the songs even with that) The Newsboys have been performing for almost 30 years and were still pretty awesome at our conference. I guess I never cared for this song before but now I cannot get Something Beautiful out of my head. Love it!

5. God's glory is so evident at the beach

We spent a few hours at South Padre Island this weekend. It was so great to enjoy the cool water, the warm breeze and abundant sunshine. We built castles and dug "hot tubs". We failed at flying a Spiderman kite. We enjoyed some satisfying sandwiches and watermelon. Next time you make a sandwich? Chipotle mayo. Game Changer. Oh and I got a super sweet tan line on the back of my arm. There are white fingerprints where I must have been holding my arm and blocking the sun. It's cute. 

And you know what? I don't have a lot of other pictures from this week. For once, I tried to really live my life instead of document it. I will definitely share more pictures as I organize and decorate my new home. But for now, I hope this randomness will suffice!

Girl Behind the Blog Vlog, Part V: Begin, Accomplish, or Change

It's time for another vlog!

I am pretty excited about the prompt this month. It's all about the dreams and goals that you have that may get pushed aside because of practicality. I'm sharing a little bit about where my journey will take me in the next month and how I hope to respond!

Check out the others here and send some love and encouragement to all of the goals and dreams!

Prompt:

Introduce yourself and your blog

What is one thing you are hoping to Begin, Accomplish, or Change?

Why is this goal important to you?

What are your plans to achieve this goal?

I would complain about the thumbnail but aren't everyone's awful? 

* sorry about all of the umms, lost thoughts and repetition! definitely not a speaker ;) *

reflections on youth camp

Youth Camp is always good. There is something powerful about getting away from technology, from routine, from outside influences- even family and friends- to focus on God. 

Of course it's overwhelmingly hot and the food isn't the best and there's never enough sleep.

(supplies we took)

But God continually uses this time to teach us, convict us, encourage us and reveal Himself to us! 

This was my third year going to Youth Week at Alto Frio with my youth group. It was also my second year operating not only as the leader of my group, but also on the team putting on camp.  I knew what to expect, and this year I was smart and got another girls sponsor to go so that I wouldn't feel responsible to stay with them at all times. Instead of staying in the cabins, I got a motel room at the conference center (holla!), which also served as a storage place for all of the extra snacks and drinks we brought. (I had to rethink that choice when someone came by after lights-out looking for Pop-Tarts)

(on my hotel bed, with a Toms tan, and our snacks in the background)

So, as a sponsor and member of the camp team I kinda had to remove myself from the emotional side of camp to supervise. I had to be aware of what was going on with my students, the schedule and my responsibilities for the services. I had to be sure to capture through pictures the activities we had, so that parents would understand why youth camp is such a big deal. I was checking that all campers adhered to the dress code. I had to be available to counsel during invitation time, to remember worship song lyrics off the top of my head when the tech guy needed to input a new song last minute, and to give announcements to the campers at a moments' notice. And so, honestly, I was looking forward to seeing God speak into the lives of my students... but not expecting for Him to speak to me. 


And God DID speak to each and every students. Of the ten who attended with me, every one of them came away changed. Saved. Convicted and forgiven. Recommitted to their purpose. Called to something great. 

Natalia accepted Christ for the first time. 

(in the center)

Betsaida and Jadzia felt God's call to be missionaries. 

and Yalani felt called to student ministry in the future!

(on the right)

To be part of this journey with each of them is humbling and encouraging.

What I didn't expect was for God to speak to me- the leader- at youth camp. On Wednesday night, our speaker spoke especially to the sponsors during a closing prayer time. He asked for any sponsors that needed prayer for anything in their life to go to one side of the room and for the other sponsors to pray over them. So I prayed over sponsors. And then I prayed over students. And then I started preparing what we would do in our church time that immediately followed the service. As we exited the tabernacle and headed to my motel room, I started thinking about what I would have asked for prayer for if I had gone up. A heavy burden weighed upon my shoulders, like carrying boulder on my back. Then, it just hit me how emotionally and even mentally that I had separated myself from what God was speaking that week. 

So, when my group got to the room, I asked if they would pray for me. Because I'm terrified to move away, even though I know it's what God has for me. I'm scared that I won't make friends or have enough money ever or maintain my current relationships or do well in school. I'm scared that nobody will be able to reach my Austin students like I have and their spiritual lives will suffer. But even worse, I'm scared that they'll find someone so much better to fill this position that they'll wonder why they've had me hired all this time. 

(I totally understand that I sound completely overdramatic. I agree.) 

And so, one by one my students and sponsors lifted me up before the Lord. And there I sat in a puddle of my tears (and snot), and felt the hand of God over all of us. I felt His presence burden me with my purpose for leaving and promising to be with this group when I leave. 

God spoke to me right in the middle of youth camp. It was awesome. 

You see, this step in my life is a lot like the zipline we did.

When I give in to fear, all I'm doing is looking down. 

Seeing how far I can fall.

but if I trust God 

and do what He's called me to do

I can just take that step of faith and enjoy the ride 

And I think I'd rather let go, than just stand on this ledge and be anxious. 

I'd rather have faith than fear.