reflections on youth camp

Youth Camp is always good. There is something powerful about getting away from technology, from routine, from outside influences- even family and friends- to focus on God. 

Of course it's overwhelmingly hot and the food isn't the best and there's never enough sleep.

(supplies we took)

But God continually uses this time to teach us, convict us, encourage us and reveal Himself to us! 

This was my third year going to Youth Week at Alto Frio with my youth group. It was also my second year operating not only as the leader of my group, but also on the team putting on camp.  I knew what to expect, and this year I was smart and got another girls sponsor to go so that I wouldn't feel responsible to stay with them at all times. Instead of staying in the cabins, I got a motel room at the conference center (holla!), which also served as a storage place for all of the extra snacks and drinks we brought. (I had to rethink that choice when someone came by after lights-out looking for Pop-Tarts)

(on my hotel bed, with a Toms tan, and our snacks in the background)

So, as a sponsor and member of the camp team I kinda had to remove myself from the emotional side of camp to supervise. I had to be aware of what was going on with my students, the schedule and my responsibilities for the services. I had to be sure to capture through pictures the activities we had, so that parents would understand why youth camp is such a big deal. I was checking that all campers adhered to the dress code. I had to be available to counsel during invitation time, to remember worship song lyrics off the top of my head when the tech guy needed to input a new song last minute, and to give announcements to the campers at a moments' notice. And so, honestly, I was looking forward to seeing God speak into the lives of my students... but not expecting for Him to speak to me. 


And God DID speak to each and every students. Of the ten who attended with me, every one of them came away changed. Saved. Convicted and forgiven. Recommitted to their purpose. Called to something great. 

Natalia accepted Christ for the first time. 

(in the center)

Betsaida and Jadzia felt God's call to be missionaries. 

and Yalani felt called to student ministry in the future!

(on the right)

To be part of this journey with each of them is humbling and encouraging.

What I didn't expect was for God to speak to me- the leader- at youth camp. On Wednesday night, our speaker spoke especially to the sponsors during a closing prayer time. He asked for any sponsors that needed prayer for anything in their life to go to one side of the room and for the other sponsors to pray over them. So I prayed over sponsors. And then I prayed over students. And then I started preparing what we would do in our church time that immediately followed the service. As we exited the tabernacle and headed to my motel room, I started thinking about what I would have asked for prayer for if I had gone up. A heavy burden weighed upon my shoulders, like carrying boulder on my back. Then, it just hit me how emotionally and even mentally that I had separated myself from what God was speaking that week. 

So, when my group got to the room, I asked if they would pray for me. Because I'm terrified to move away, even though I know it's what God has for me. I'm scared that I won't make friends or have enough money ever or maintain my current relationships or do well in school. I'm scared that nobody will be able to reach my Austin students like I have and their spiritual lives will suffer. But even worse, I'm scared that they'll find someone so much better to fill this position that they'll wonder why they've had me hired all this time. 

(I totally understand that I sound completely overdramatic. I agree.) 

And so, one by one my students and sponsors lifted me up before the Lord. And there I sat in a puddle of my tears (and snot), and felt the hand of God over all of us. I felt His presence burden me with my purpose for leaving and promising to be with this group when I leave. 

God spoke to me right in the middle of youth camp. It was awesome. 

You see, this step in my life is a lot like the zipline we did.

When I give in to fear, all I'm doing is looking down. 

Seeing how far I can fall.

but if I trust God 

and do what He's called me to do

I can just take that step of faith and enjoy the ride 

And I think I'd rather let go, than just stand on this ledge and be anxious. 

I'd rather have faith than fear.

Faith to Go into the Unknown

I wasn't going to write this post, but for the sake of transparency and accountability I wanted to share what God has been teaching me.

This past week I became overwhelmed with anxiety about my future. 

I absolutely love where I am right now. I love my city. I love my church and my job. I love every one of my crazy students. I love my roommates. But in August I'll be leaving all of this to pursue my Master's Degree at seminary. 

Part of me is so excited to be part of a community where everyone is being equipped and taught to live out ministry! I know that every day I do this student ministry thing I become more aware of how much I don't know. I understand that I'll never have all the answers, but I am excited to have a deeper understanding of the Bible! I know this is something God has truly placed on my heart, even before I made the commitment to pursue full time ministry.

And part of me is terrified

that I won't make new friends

that I won't excel in my classes

that my current relationships will suffer 

Of course it won't be easy,

but I began to allow these fears to root deep down into my heart

and they convinced me that they were bigger and more powerful than the one I'm serving.

And then God spoke to me.

I don't know how God speaks to you,

but He likes to speak to me through the Bible

and this time His message was quite clear.

This particular day I had gone over to Panera Bread to eat lunch and work on our youth Bible study. I pulled out the workbook to read over the study and just sat staring at the title for a few moments.

"Faith to Go into the Unknown"

And then I proceeded to read about Moses, in Exodus 13 and 14

when He had led the Israelites out of Egypt right to the bank of the Red Sea.

Moses didn't know where he was going. He and the people literally followed where God led them, in the form of a cloud or a pillar of fire. 

They found themselves being pursued by the Egyptian army, on the edge of the Red Sea, with nowhere to turn. The people lost all hope, believing they were about to die!

After HUGE and mighty acts that God had shown them

blood, frogs, gnats, flies, epidemic disease, boils, hail, locusts, darkness

and the death of the firstborns

God appearing in the form of cloud and fire

the people doubted His power.

I sat reading this passage at my booth and was so completely convicted of my lack of faith. I have seen God work in such evident and miraculous ways in my life. He has shown me insurmountable grace and opened doors that I never thought were possible. 

How could I forget everything that He has done now?

And yet, God speaks encouragement through Moses to his people

We have such a patient and loving God

and these words pierced my heart

"Do not be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."

Exodus 14:13-14 NLT


God showed His power by giving the Israelites a way out- He split the sea in two and all the people walked through on dry ground!

My situation is a lot less life-threatening and dire

but the heart of the matter is the same

I can have faith to go into the unknown because my God will be glorified

the Lord himself will fight for me!

and sipping on a caramel ice blended coffee,

the Lord did fight those fears and lies
And as I confessed my anxieties to the Lord, 
He fulfilled another promise, from Philippians 4:6-7
to guard my heart with a peace that passes understanding. 


Friends, today I hope that you are encouraged to have faith to go into the unknown
whatever that may be in your life.
God is in control
and He will fight for you!

Linkin up with Kerrie at The Williams Post today!